My HMO Paxil Horror Story
When it comes to psychotropic drugs less is more!
Oh yeah I use some usenet terms here. Funny little fact about most doktors (oh my goodness look at that odd spelling! This bloke has schizophrenia for sure) is they think anyone who can type with two hands is a hacker and since many of them are utterly clueless about Usenet and the Internet they will be sure to assume that my writing here is full of neologisms.
The story below all happened AFTER an unsuccessful trial with a tricyclic anti-depressant. Now here is my HMO and Paxil horror story: I still say if I had just gone and murdered a few of those HMO doctors instead of crying out for help I'd be able to sue Paxil and I'd be rich now. Instead I'm stuck paying HMO premiums and going to the public clinic for all my mental health needs but the HMO clinic for all my physical health needs.
I've called Jim Trindle three times now and asked him if I can go to the local bipolar support group but he refuses to return my phone calls. Fine way to treat a dues paying member. I guess I have been Trindled. (BTW this is not my neologism so does not count towards my dx. But I guess this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that my friend Bob Whelan has schizophrenia)
In 1998 my HMO destroyed several years of my life by allowing my General Practitioner to Prescribe the powerful anti-depressant Paxil to me with no diagnosis. (Later my HMO pdoc screwed up and prescribed too much Risperdal and added to my problems.)
After 4 weeks on Paxil I went into a terrible mixed manic episode. The result was that I began to have violent SSRI induced fantasies I was very afraid that I was going to murder a man.
I went back to my family doctor and told him that as a child I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and spent ages 16-18 as a ward of the court. I also told him that I felt I was losing my mind because I was feeling homicidal and I was stalking a non HMO therapist that had sexually abused me when I was a teenager. I told my family doctor that I was afraid I was going to murder this man. I told my family doctor that I did not feel at all depressed. My family doctor noted in my chart that I was in a "cheerful" mood.
My family doctor (David Stackhouse MD.) responded by doubling my dose of Paxil. Why did he double my anti-depressant while writing in my chart that I was in a cheerful mood? I feel that he should have referred me to a psychiatrist possibly should have had me hospitalized and perhaps had a legal obligation to warn the man that I was stalking. (later a hospital refused to release me until this man had been warned) But he did none of those things, instead he doubled my Paxil dose to 40mg per day.
Needless to say my symptoms became even worse on a higher dose of Paxil. I went back to my family doctor two weeks after the dose increase and asked him for a referral to a psychiatrist. I was then given the run around for three days while I desperately tried to get in to see a psychiatrist. My Paxil induced mania became so bad that I drove my self to the nearest HMO MH Clinic and asked to see a psychiatrist but I was turned away because I did not have a referral. This was all very scary for me because I knew I was losing my mind but did not know how to describe it or what was happening.
I tried to get a referral to a psychiatrist from Doctor Stackhouse but he told me I did not need one and only gave me the directions to the HMO "behavioral health clinic". I drove to the clinic and asked to see a psychiatrist but was turned away for lack of a referral. So I called Dr. Stackhouse and asked him again for a referral telling him that I was told that I did indeed need a referral. The nurse said she would get right on it and gave me the number to the mental health intake person. I called the mental health intake person for three days in a row, but each time I called I was told that they had not received a referral. I called Dr. Stackhouse's nurse and she told me she had forgotten to fax the referral but would get right on it.
I never got my referral. Doctors are strongly encouraged to not give out referrals to specialists at my HMO. I suffered greatly because this policy. I was so scared that I started just hanging out in the waiting room of my HMO's main office because I felt safe there and after all I was waiting for help. I waited and waited and waited for three days, my symptoms were growing worse each day, but I never got the help I asked for. I finally got so desperate for help that I drove my car around the clinic in reverse about ten times but no one noticed so I then called the consulting nurse and told her that I had become afraid that I was going to follow my family doctor home if I did not get my referral. I did not want to follow him home but I had become so crazed on the Paxil that I felt I had no control over the situation. That finally got their attention and they referred me directly to a psychiatric hospital. While in the hospital I was taken off the Paxil cold turkey!("antidepressant-discontinuation induced mania" is also a recognized phenomenon)
After being taken off the Paxil cold turkey by Janet Vondran MD I started to engage in self injury and my anxiety levels went through the roof. I'm not sure how I managed to survive being taking off 40mg per week of Paxil with no taper down. The self stopped three months after all antidepressants and risperdal were eliminated from my diet. My clueless clinicians did not make the connection between the Paxil and the self injury but prefered to call it something else that was highly invalidating.
I mostly blame my HMO for the behavior I displayed while on Paxil and later Risperdal. Ah what the heck may as well blame those borg for everything.. I also blame my HMO psychiatrist for making my mania worse by prescribing Risperdal later. I guess she (Gail Shuler MD.) never read a medical journal after she graduated, that or all the risperdal flavored popcorn I saw in her office did something to her brain. Risperdal is known make some people with bipolar disorder manic. But you can't really expect your psychiatrist to keep up to date on these types of things now can you? It has been three years since I have been on Paxil or Risperdal or done anything strange. I was with this HMO for 20 years without incident before all this happened too.
My HMO uses my behavior while on Paxil and Risperdal and while coming down from Paxil as an excuse to force me to go to the public mental health clinic and travel to another county to see a HMO psychiatrist. I think we all know that the real issue here is money. They will not provide in house mental health treatment for me, claiming I am a threat to their mental health providers. The service I am getting in the neighboring county is very dehumanizing even compared to what I was getting in my own county.
But doktors have a very handy catch phrase they can use, it covers all situations. Borderline Personality Disorder SHHHHHHHHH! Don't tell them you don't have it, that only proves that you do! Don't get angry about that dx, it only proves you have it. Also there is no treatment for Borderline so once you have this dx the docs can justify ignoring you. SHHHHHHHHHH! Don't complain about being ignored, that only proves you are borderline!
Oh so you've wised up and don't trust psyches or ask them for help anymore you say.. SHHHHHH! That's Paranoid Personality Disorder. Ah now don't try to deny it, that only proves that you have it. Don't ever question your learned doktors, that proves you have Paranoia.
My phone calls are rarely returned and I am mostly only allowed to talk to nurses between appointments. These nurses have never met me and know only what they read in my chart. One of them seems very hesitant to help me get on the medication assistance programs to the point of perhaps telling me lies. I hesitate to accuse them of lying becuase that would only count towards a DX of paranoia.
They still provide services for all my physical needs in house. Somehow they do not feel I am a threat to their general practitioners?
I lost two years of my life because my HMO allows General Practitioners to pass out Paxil like candy and the Paxil they foolishly gave me set off rapid cycling and bipolar can be a progressive disease and my HMO refuses now to treat me in house.
Ah what the hell, their "treatment" has caused me so much hardship, why would I want more of the same? It seems to be best to avoid psychiatrists at all costs. That is unless you enjoy being drugged up, mentally raped, having CPS called on you an sexually abused. The "help" I have recieved has only made any problems I may have much worse and DESTROYED my sense of self worth, my standing in the community and my standing in my family.
Please visit groupdeath.net where you will find other people who are not happy with my HMO and are not mental patients. But I'm sure we could find enough symptoms in all of them to dx them with borderline personality disorder. Probably no point in listening to them eh?
"Dwight and colleagues reported that six patients with Schizoaffective disorder all developed new or increased manic symptoms after about a week of risperidone treatment-and two of these patients were taking concomitant mood stabilizers."
I may also have a few things to say about the non HMO therapist who sexually abused me when I was 19.
The McGraw Center provides 15 of Washington State's 100 beds for the most severely disturbed adolescents, ages 6 to 18, referred by the State Mental Health Division's Children's Long-Term Inpatient Program (CLIP). Four additional beds are available for youth referred from other sources. Each child receives 24-hour mental health and medical care including nursing and psychiatry services, individual, group and family therapy.
Go sue the Paxil company here
When ever I am ready to give up on ever finding the right med combo I go visit
If you know anyone suffering Paxil withdrawal or unable to come off any of the SSRIs once again I would refer you to the tape "Help! I Can't Get Off My Antidepressant!" (800-280-0730) for safe methods of successful withdrawal and pointers on how to rebuild after the devastating effects of these drugs. LABEL CHANGES: Excerpt from FDA revised label PAXIL WITHDRAWAL LAWSUIT: January 25, 2002 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Baum, Hedlund, Aristei, Guilford & Schiavo 12100 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 950 Los Angeles, CA Web: www.baumhedlundlaw.com 17 INDIVIDUALS FILE FIRST (NON-CLASS ACTION) LAWSUIT SEEKING DAMAGES AGAINST SMITHKILINE BEECHAM FOR SEVERE WITHDRAWAL REACTIONS FROM THE ANTIDEPRESSANT, PAXIL.
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