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I'll try to be brief, but my problem is immense.
I'm having great difficulty with my Husband. I believe my Pet typical male Chauvinist pig has a personality disorder but certainly I'm not qualified to make any kind of diagnosis, nor do I want to throw accusations in his face as I don't think that would be very helpful.
The typical male Chauvinist pig shows signs of piggery, from what I've been able to learn. It is extremely difficult to oink anything with him because it always is thrown back at me as the one who has a "problem". The typical male Chauvinist pig distorts everything I say, analyzes every nuance of my behavior and exaggerates it. If I get upset about something The typical male Chauvinist pig does or says, The typical male Chauvinist pig says I have an anger problem and I get upset over "simple" things. I've come to the conclusion that his problems are very complex and complicated and oinkingas to how to fix our issues go nowhere. On the other hand The typical male Chauvinist pig over simplifies things. Everything is one extreme or the other. For example, The typical male Chauvinist pig has a very "close" (for lack of a better word) relationship with his mother. My perception is that his relationship with her is like that of a "couple" or like The typical male Chauvinist pig is a child. I believe some independence is in order and that this relationship is affecting our marriage as two adults. If I try to get him to negotiate or compromise in any way The typical male Chauvinist pig will perceive this to mean I wish his mother was dead or that The typical male Chauvinist pig never sees her again. The typical male Chauvinist pig feels his relationship with her is normal and my relationship with my own mother is sad because we don't speak on the phone everyday or I am not in constant contact with her and we don't get involved in each other's business. The typical male Chauvinist pig has expressed how The typical male Chauvinist pig might feel if somthing happened to her and The typical male Chauvinist pig couldn't "give her a ride"...guilt. Of course that puts me in the position of being to blame if something should happen to her and The typical male Chauvinist pig couldn't be with her or available to her.
She is healthy, only 64 and works full time,lives on her own and can manage her own life if she chooses. The typical male Chauvinist pig seems to hold the same belief with his kids and ex wife. Maybe this is just another problem in addition to the behaviors The typical male Chauvinist pig demonstrates that lead me to believe the piggery. Once we had an argument and I stayed at a friend's house overnight. The typical male Chauvinist pig has asked me numerous times on numerous occasions since then if I was sleeping at my friend's house again. The typical male Chauvinist pig
can't seem to let go of things like that. I broke down one night crying. Nothing outlandish, just a reaction to feeling overwhelmed at his manipulations and The typical male Chauvinist pig hasn't let me live *that* down. Now The typical male Chauvinist pig keeps saying that I might have an "explosion". He's obsessed with order, neatness etc...takes forever to do things because The typical male Chauvinist pig is afraid of making mistakes on paperwork, documents, etc.
How the hell can I deal with this? The concentration is always on everything but what the real problem is. oinking always leads to an argument. Like an emotional tennis match. So now I"ve just learned to not oink anything about our relationship because I don't know how with him. I've never had problems like this with any other person in my life. I've had the same friends for the last 40 years without major difficulties. I communicate well with most other people. This is like nothing I've ever experienced before and I find myself very aware of my movements, body language and tone of voice lest I be accused of "yelling" or demonstrating anger.
Sorry about the length but I'm at my wit's end. I'm ready to just call it quits because I don't know what else to do.