Jacob was 2 weeks overdue, so on 3/2/98 the OBGYN decided to induce me at 11:00 pm. Complications started almost immediately. Jacob's heart rate would drop drastically, but then would go back to normal. Finally at around 6:00 am the doctor's decided to do an emergency C-Section. I was hysterical, I thought for sure I was losing my baby. When I woke up and saw my husband, I asked him if the baby was OK. He said we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy! We both held each other and cried. One hour later, the NICU doctor came in. He told us that Jacob had a heart murmur, but that it was nothing serious. He also told us that Jacob had some sort of an infection and he needed to be under an oxygen mask. Again he said not to worry, that the baby was doing OK overall. He said the Cardiologist would not be there til Wednesday (this was Tuesday morning). They finally wheeled me in to see Jacob at 7:00 pm. He was beautiful. I could not believe this little miracle was mine. I could not hold him because of the oxygen mask, but I held his hand and cried happy tears. As we were leaving, I overheard the doctor introducing himself to the cardiologist. I told my husband that I thought something was wrong, because he was not supposed to be there til tomorrow, but he told me everything was fine. About 10 minutes later, a nurse came into our room and asked us to come into the solarium (a private room). As they were Wheeling me, I overheard a nurse saying to bring a box of tissues for us. I knew then something bad was wrong. As we got into the room, I looked at my husband and saw the same terror in his eyes. Dr. Michael Snyder of Westchester County Medical Center told us Jacob has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I have never heard of this, but I know anything with the heart was not good. I looked at the doctor and asked him point blank if my baby was going to die. He told me that the odds where not good, and that most likely Jacob would not survive. My world was collapsing around me. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to go home with a healthy, happy baby. They didn't teach you this in Lamaze!

Dr. Snyder then informed us of our three options. He said the first option was compassionate care, to bring the baby home to die. The second option was a three stage surgery that had a 40% chance of survival. And the third option was a heart transplant with a 5% chance of finding a newborn heart. I knew immediately that I would not choose compassionate care, my baby fought his way into this world, and I would not give him up without a fight. We decided to go with the better odds. He then told us that they would bring Jacob to WCMC that night by life flight, but by ambulance. We were allowed to say good bye to Jacob and a very nice nurse let me hold Jacob and we got some beautiful but sad pictures. I wanted to grab him and run. He looked so normal. He was so perfect, and he looked me right in the eyes, I knew then that my son owned me heart, body and soul.

We then had the daunting task of calling our families to tell them the news. Everyone was devastated. This was the first grandchild on my husband's side of the family, and they lived in California. His father couldn't make it because of his job, but his mom came in at midnight. My Gynecologist signed me out the next day and we all went to WCMC. The hallway must have been filled with 2 dozen of my family and friends. It felt good knowing I had so many people there for me. We met the surgeon, Dr. Larry Permut, and scheduled the surgery for 3/6/98. I went home that day with a fever of 103 and I just wanted to die. My neighbors all stayed with me while my husband went to get his mother from the airport.

The next morning I woke up feeling so good. I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I knew Jacob would be OK. I just had a real good feeling about everything. We all went to WCMC again and he looked so good. He was the healthiest looking baby there. They told us all the horrible things that could go wrong, but I kept thinking positive. I felt then, and do now, that positive thinking and many prayers are what kept my son alive.

Jacob had his Fontan on 11/6/98. We decided to go home to wait. My husband did not want to wait in the parents lounge with all the other parents. He wanted to be alone with me and we only lived a 1/2 hour away. That was one of the longest days of our lives. At around 1:00 pm, we got the call that he was off the heart/lung machine at that he was doing real good! We held each other and cried for about 15 minutes. We just couldn't believe how lucky we were. We made it to the hospital in 15 minutes! We were able to see Jacob about 2 hours later. The doctor's had warned us earlier that he would be swollen, but he never did. I told the Dr. Permut that Jacob was part Italian, and Italian's are stubborn fighters. Jacob was doing great. He had no complications and everything was looking real good.

We were finally allowed to hold him about 1 1/2 weeks later. That felt so good. Each step was one step closer to home. I wanted desperately to breast feed Jake, I had gone to classes for it, so I was prepared. Then the doctor's told me that Jacob would never receive enough calories from me and that he would get exhausted sucking from my breast. I was very upset about this, and felt like another thing was being taken away from us. Jacob took a day or two to get used to sucking a bottle, but he caught on real quick. Unfortunately, he would vomited within drinking 1/2 an ounce. After a week of trying different nipples and formulas, they finally gave Jacob a liquid that they could x-ray going down and found that he had reflux. This meant he would need an NG tube (a tube going through your nostril into your stomach). We would start off with the bottle, Jake would inevitable vomit, and the rest would be put in a feeding bag and the kangaroo machine would give him the rest of his formula. After being taught how to do this, they finally allowed us to take Jacob home on 4/1/98.

What a homecoming. Everyone wanted to see our miracle child. We were so proud of our little fighter. He had so many people praying for him. About 2 months later, the reflux stopped. We were now able to give Jacob a normal bottle during the day, but the doctor's still wanted him to have NG feeding at night to give him the extra calories without the work.

On 11/2/98 Jacob had his Glenn Shunt. Again, out little miracle man sailed through. He was home by 11/7/98. The only side effect was suffering severe separation anxiety. Jacob slept with us for over a month before he felt safe again.

Today Jacob is a happy, thriving, very active little boy. You would never know he has a heart problem. He crawls, climbs and pulls himself up to stand. He says dada and mamma, claps hands and waves. He loves everyone who will play with him. He is one of the friendliest babies I know. All our neighbors and their kids always want to come over and play with him.

I don't know why this happened, but I do know that we were given an angel to be part of our lives. I thank God every second, day and year that we have with Jacob. He has taught us so much and I wouldn't change anything about our situation.

All our CHD children are miracles from God and I will cherish mine every second of every day!

Rita & John Pardee
Proud parents to Jacob Anthony Pardee (HLHS survivor)